


oh so perfect

by tozjers



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: M/M, Sad Richie, eddie comforts richie, richie is insecure, self-deprecation, self-hate, slight stanlon, stan is non binary, went and maggie are good parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:06:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25840057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tozjers/pseuds/tozjers
Summary: Chloe’s One-Shot Contest.in which richie gets insecure about himself and eddie’s there to comfort him.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 1
Kudos: 91





	oh so perfect

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: “I don’t understand how you, of all people, can be insecure. You’re perfect in my eyes.”
> 
> words: 1789
> 
> -

It started a week ago. 

Richie had always been very confident and cocky (which some found to be annoying), but internally Richie had always dealt with his insecurities. He masked it with joking about how hot and attractive he was, but no one really knew how _little_ Richie thought of himself most of the time. Richie didn’t let it get to him usually. Not as bad as this.

But for some reason, that entire week, the universe was there to make sure Richie felt nothing but hate for himself and his appearance. It started at Mike’s farm.

The group were all outside and Richie had been joking and rambling per usual, walking around mindlessly when he slipped and fell in the mud puddle he hadn’t noticed the first time. No one even attempted to hold in their laughter. The sound of his friends laughing (especially about something he said or did) always made Richie feel a million times better about himself. 

He, too, was smiling as he stood and wiped the muddy water off his glasses. He wasn’t even embarrassed or upset at the fact that he was soaked in gross water, that was until–

“You’re such a klutz, Rich,” Stan said, rolling their eyes while trying to keep the smile off their face. Richie should’ve known they were joking, but his mind liked to convince him they were being serious. 

_Clumsy idiot._

Richie’s smile fell only slightly before he coughed and let out a small laugh. “I’d do anything to impress you, Staniel. Maybe if you didn’t play hard to get, I wouldn’t have to _be_ a klutz!” Richie retorted, dramatically whipping his head to the side and scoffing. Mike laughed and tightened his arm around Stan’s waist, “Not a chance, Rich. Sorry.” 

“Whatever. I have Eddie Bear as my number one boo-thang, so I’m winning,” Richie grinned and leaned down to plant a wet kiss on Eddie’s cheek, punctuating it with a loud 'mwah!' sound. 

Eddie scoffed and shoved Richie away, “You’re so annoying. And dirty, get away from me until you shower.” 

_You’re so annoying. Idiot. Shut up._

Richie adjusted his glasses as everyone giggled at Eddie’s comment. Normally, Richie would just laugh and continue to bug him to a certain extent, but it seemed to hit Richie that he was _,_ in fact, annoying and should stop. So he did. He smiled tight-lipped and announced that he was leaving to go home and shower. No one noticed the far-off gaze he held. Richie would’ve felt proud of himself for being so convincing, but his mind was racing and he was too busy overanalyzing everything to give a fuck. 

The next morning, Richie stood in front of his mirror for a while too long. He didn’t mean to, but he picked apart every possible thing wrong with him. He started with his hair– it was tangled and messy and unmanageable. His eyes looked freakishly large behind the lenses of his glasses. He was extremely pale and skinny. _God_ , the amount of times someone had pointed out how skinny he was... But looking at himself now, _really_ looking, he could understand if anyone had ever been displeased by how skinny he was. 

Richie shook his head and grabbed his contact case. He switched his glasses for some contacts, in hopes that maybe he would be a bit more content with his appearance. It helped a little, but Richie was still picking apart what _else_ was wrong. His clothes. His bright pink Hawaiian shirt thrown over a graphic tee and a pair of jeans cuffed at the ankles. 

Richie concluded that he looked fucking ridiculously stupid. 

_And gay. You really are asking for someone to beat your face in._

Richie traded his Hawaiian shirt for a navy blue hoodie. It was June, but Richie didn’t quite care. He’d rather die of heatstroke than go out like _that_. 

Richie’s parents were seated at the table with fresh cups of coffee in front of them. Richie’s mother was reading a book, some classic, and his father the newspaper. Wentworth looked up just as Richie opened the front door. 

“Where you off to, son?” 

“Getting food with my friends.” 

Wentworth nodded, but his eyes scanned Richie’s outfit. “You sure you wanna wear that?” 

Richie felt dread fill him. “W-what? What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” 

Maggie gazed at him after taking her attention from her book, “Honey, it’s going to be hot outside. Are you sure you wanna wear jeans and a hoodie today? And where are your glasses?” 

“Contacts. Also, I wouldn’t have put it on if I didn’t want to,” was Richie’s answer. He didn’t give either of his parents a chance to say anything, he just left and closed the door behind him. 

His parents shared a look, but brushed it off. It was just Richie being Richie, they supposed.

Richie got to the diner, a cigarette dangling between his lips. He took one last, long drag before letting it fall to the ground. He used his shoe to snuff it out and made his entrance into the diner. He spotted his friend group instantly and crossed over to take the open seat next to Eddie. They always made sure to leave a spot open next to Eddie for Richie to sit. Richie sat with a huff and quickly noticed Eddie's nose wrinkle in disgust. "You reek of cigarettes," Eddie said, but didn't scoot away. He, instead, instinctively shifted closer to Richie. Richie didn't know what to make of the comment, but he slipped an arm around Eddie's shoulders and snorted, "That's weird, it's almost like I smoked before I came in here."

"Okay, smartass."

Stan stared at him curiously, "Why aren't you wearing your glasses? And I thought you quit," they said, but they already knew. Richie could tell that they knew, in the way that they seem to know everything about Richie. The way that they can see right through him. It doesn't usually make Richie nervous, but the way they said it; it just sounded judge-y. Sure, Stan would often criticize things Richie said or did, but they never meant harm. Though in that moment, Richie just felt targeted. 

"Well, I tried. I'm wearing contacts."

"Did you? Why the contacts?" 

"Yes, Stan. I _did_. I've just been going through some stuff and needed a fix, okay? And why does it matter if I'm wearing those _stupid_ glasses or not? Can you just get off my _ass_?!" Richie hadn't meant to snap. The table grew silent, and he felt Eddie tense up under his arm. Stan pursed their lips and leaned back in their seat. Everyone noticed how jumpy Richie was being from the second he walked in, but they, truly, had no idea. No one ever really knew what went on in Richie's head. Richie drummed his fingers on the table and stood up, making a beeline for the exit. He heard people call his name, sounding like Beverly and Bill and most likely Mike, but Richie didn't listen. He just threw his hood over his head and walked home. 

It was around later in the evening when he heard someone knock on his bedroom door. Richie was curled up in his bed under a blanket and staring off at nothing as silent tears rolled down his cheeks. He was grateful he hadn't wore his glasses so he didn't have to push them up to wipe at his eyes. "Go away, Mom." Richie called out, half expecting the knocking to cease and the other half expecting her to just walk in. Either way, the door opened.

"Mom, I said- Eddie?" Richie sat up and stared at his boyfriend who stood in the doorway rather awkwardly. Richie wiped harshly at his eyes as Eddie shut the door gently and walked over. He sat on Richie's bed and peered up at him with a gaze filled with such concern that it made Richie want to cry even more.

_You're burdening him._

"Your mom let me in. She asked me to check on you. I was going to anyway, of course, but her asking me to just made me even more worried." Eddie scooted closer, reaching out to take one of Richie's hands. "Rich, _please_ tell me what's going on with you. I can't help you if you don't talk to me." Eddie's voice was soft (like always) and gentle, he watched Richie with such carefulness. Such worry. Sadness. 

Richie sniffled and shrugged his shoulders, "I'm just- uh- you know?" 

Eddie blinked at him, "No, I don't. Please, Richie."

Richie blew air out of his cheeks. Opening up wasn't something he was used to, and he definitely didn't enjoy it. "Okay, okay. Sorry. What I was trying to say was, um- I dunno... I've just been really, like, _down_? Everything is getting to me and I keep thinking these awful things about myself. I haven't gone this entire week without being insecure about _something_."

"What are you insecure about?" Eddie asked quietly, and Richie could tell he himself was seconds away from bursting into tears. Richie shrugged again, "Everything. My personality, my looks, my glasses, my body- God, _everything_ , Eds." A sob broke through Richie's chest, and Eddie seized forward to pull him in a hug. Richie's shoulders shook as he cried, and Eddie rubbed his back soothingly, silently crying himself.

Eddie sniffled, "Okay, first of all," he carded one of his hands through Richie's curls, "I don't understand how you, of all people, can be insecure. You're perfect in my eyes. And second of all," Eddie grabbed Richie's face gently and tilted it so that he could look him in the eyes, "I love you. So much, Rich. Okay? You're amazing and funny and _beautiful_ , please don't think badly of yourself like that. And if you do, _please_ tell me. I don't want you silently suffering like this again." 

Richie wiped his eyes and nodded. 

"Promise?" Eddie removed a hand from Richie's face and stuck his pinky out. Richie laughed a loud, watery laugh, and linked his pinky with Eddie's. The gesture made Eddie smile, and Richie would give anything to constantly see a smile on Eddie's beautiful face. Richie leaned forward and pecked Eddie on the lips, he pulled back with a smile.

Richie wiped his eyes some more until they were almost completely dry and he laid back on his bed, pulling Eddie down with him. Eddie moved so he was on his back and so that Richie could rest his head on his chest. Eddie wasn't supposed to be staying the night, but for Richie, he didn't care to piss off his mother a little bit. Richie needed him, and he would always be there.


End file.
